Advice to a Wife

Long title
Advice to a Wife
Original text

When Goodman comes home at night
 And complains that he is weary,
Make him drink the liquor bright,
 Call him Love and Charming Dearie.

Throw your arms about his neck,
 Kiss his mouth and pat his cheeks
And if you still he should neglect,
 Scourge him heartily with leaks.

Notes

Attributed to James Boswell (1740-1795). Year unknown.

Original sources