Advice to a Wife
When Goodman comes home at night
And complains that he is weary,
Make him drink the liquor bright,
Call him Love and Charming Dearie.
Throw your arms about his neck,
Kiss his mouth and pat his cheeks
And if you still he should neglect,
Scourge him heartily with leaks.
Attributed to James Boswell (1740-1795). Year unknown.